Living alone can be a bad experience, or a good experience, depending on
A: how you look at your situation, and B: what your situation is
actually like. For me, I've lived in an almost empty hostel which was a
total nightmare - because my own space was the size of a closet, but
living alone in a small home is a little more manageable. A month and a
half ago my other half moved away to go to university. Some days I find
living alone really difficult and lonely, especially being an introvert.
But I make it work and generally am pretty happy. Here are some things
that I have found really help beat the loneliness.
1
.Imagine you're Carrie Bradshaw.
Carrie lived alone in a small apartment and spent a lot of time alone
writing there, but lived a fabulous life (even if she was always looking
for a man). If your life is like Carrie's, hey, it can't be that bad.
2.
If you're lonely and can't do without the company,
get a pet. Just remember that if you do, you can be potentially stuck
with that companion for a long time. Cats and dogs live for about 16
years so think about the long term. Make sure it's okay with your
landlord if you're renting. Pets can have a huge impact on your
happiness. Just feed them and they love you no matter what! You could
also consider getting a flatmate. If you've ever
lived with a friend before, you know that this could potentially go
horribly wrong, but if it's someone you feel like you'll gel with - go
for it. Try and find someone that has the same sort of values and
interests as you. You don't want to be stuck with someone who never does
the dishes and invites their weird friends around all the time, or
plays rage music and locks themselves in their room all day and night. I've lived with lots of different people since I left high school so I'm just enjoying having my own space at the moment.
3.
Get to know your neighbours and give them your name and contact number. If your house or apartment goes on fire, or gets burgled while you're out, they can call you and let you know. They can also feed your pets or water the plants while you're on holiday, and you can borrow little things off each other if need be.
4.
Get outside. It helps! When you're feeling groggy and down, just go for a walk around the block. It doesn't have to be a marathon run or walk (unless that's what you're aiming for), but just a simple walk around the block will give you energy and put you in a more positive mindset. Try and do it every day.
5.
Do something early in the morning. You have the freedom to get up anytime you want and go to bed anytime you want without disturbing anyone. Sometimes I get up at 6am and go to the community pool for a swim. It's exercise, leaves me feeling totally refreshed and there's something about experiencing the early morning and sunrise that lifts your spirits. Plus at 6am it's quiet and there's no children splashing around, so you can peacefully waft up and down the pool (or power, depending on your swimming abilities.)
6.
Create some new hobbies or use your time to create or finish a big project. Sew, knit, or crochet a garment. Build a bedhead or upholster a piece of furniture. Try doing an oil change on your car or landscape the garden. Watch masterchef and get inspired to create some fabulous meals, and have people over for dinner parties. If you've never gone fishing or tramping before, ask that relative who goes all the time to take you with them and show you how to do it. They'll love that you're interested and it might be an awesome opportunity for you to go somewhere and do something new.
7.
Take advantage of community activities and classes. There are often all sorts of things listed in the community newspaper. Go to your local tennis club and enquire if they have open tennis in the evening for people of all abilities to play. It's a chance to meet people and have a bit of fun. Go to church and stay for morning tea if you're religious. Join a photography club. Visit the library and see if they have any readings from well known authors, or seminars or short films. Try dancing or yoga. Some places have an art group where you can go and paint or draw with other people for a small donation.
8.
Invest in some audio equipment. When you live alone the silence quickly fills all the spaces and it's just so darn
quiet, all the time. I like to have the radio on during the day and the television on during the evening, just for a bit of background noise to cut out the silence. The radio can be fun when you can dance around the house to hits of the 80's dancing like there's no one watching!
9.
Keep in contact. Everyone is wrapped up in their own lives and won't notice that you need a bit of TLC. Call or skype your friends or your parents every week. Book airfaires for a weekend away to visit a friend who lives far away. Make an effort to create friendships, and make an effort with your friends.
Say to them if you have to 'Look, I've been feeling a bit lonely lately, can we spend some time together? Come over and watch a movie and we'll make some popcorn'. It can be really hard for some, especially introverts, to reach out but it really is important for your mental health.
10.
Go to work. Make sure you enjoy your work and enjoy the time you spend with your colleagues. If not, look for a new job or a new opportunity to study something different. Move to another city or town if you feel that would make you happy. Don't settle if it's not doing it for you. If you do love your work and love your job, make it full time (I mean a 40 hour week, not a lifestyle). Earn that money and save it while you have smaller responsibilities and no one else to worry about or pay for.
I hope this list helped someone out there. remember, you're not the only one and it's only as bad as you make it. Get out there with a positive attitude and live a happy life!
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